My grandfather’s wish had been that his ashes be saved, and when the time came they be mingled with my grandmother’s and spread in the bay.
I stood on the dock with grey dust on my fingers and a sick feeling in my stomach while other people went up and gathered a handful of ashes to toss into the water.
I was sent on a couple of errands, which I happily ran for some time alone. When I got back I drank too much then got a ride to my hotel room for a nap. I woke up with a headache and started to plan my trip home.
The memorial service had been pleasant enough. Jim had found a selection of hymns sung by Willie Nelson, which more reflected his tastes than my grandparents, but it made the songs more entertaining than solemn.
At the front of the room was a picture of my grandparents together, a montage of pictures of my grandmother, and several of the paintings that she had done.
Rod led the service. He started by asking his brother Bill, the anthropologist, to talk about funeral traditions in various societies. He said that all societies that we know of have some sort of funeral tradition and they were as much for the people who attend the ceremony as for the person being remembered.
When Rod asked for people to talk about their memories, Bill had the most to say, talking mostly about the times visiting my grandparents when he had been growing up. He also made the point that until my grandfather’s passing, no one could ever recall seeing my grandparents apart.
My cousin Barbara, and my father, who were the closest to my grandmother said only a little. I said nothing.
We had scripture readings, Psalm 23, 1 Corinthians 13, the traditional favorites, and also from Ecclesiastes, a favorite of mine.
We closed with God Be With You Till We Meet Again which is essentially the Stuart family hymn. Rod opted for speaking it, neither trusting his ability to sing nor us to join in.
God be with you till we meet again;
by his counsels guide, uphold you,
with his sheep securely fold you;
God be with you till we meet again.
Till we meet, till we meet,
till we meet at Jesus' feet;
till we meet, till we meet,
God be with you till we meet again.
